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We were at a get together in a house in Abuja my friend and I, several years ago. She brought out some pills and as she was about to take them one of the guys asked her what they were for. She told him ‘Webititis’ he asked what her symptoms were and she told him some rubbish.  The next thing I heard was ‘can I have some? I get symptoms similar to those too’ He says! What? I butted in? I had never heard such nonsense. We had such a laugh when she handed him some, (they were indeed just peppermint breath fresheners) and he couldn’t quite figure out that he’d been had!

In a nutshell however, this situation explains the problem a lot of us have. We don’t address what ‘product’ we are giving out as human beings, what our strengths, and weaknesses are before putting ourselves out there. However when the ‘Market’ using that word for everyone we are dealing with, reacts we start labelling their attitude with what we have heard other people complaining about.

When I first started my Business I employed a younger relative of mine to come and work for me. She was supposed to be very clever and very popular. She had just come back from studying in the States and she took the job almost as though she was doing me a favour. This was okay by me if she was as good as advertised. I wanted her to engage Social Media and get some buzz out there about us. She was very well turned out for work always, having spent what used to seem like hours on her perfect makeup and hair on fleek. Thing is, she ended up coming in very late to work and since we actually don’t receive clients all that effort was lost on the other three of us at the small office. Then again, by the time the office messenger got round to getting all that got her ready for work like hot coffee most of the day was gone. Her general appearance and attitude meant the others at the office viewed her as some ‘madam’ hence teamwork was not happening. In the end I had to let her go because paying her every month was painful considering her measly returns.

When she left my office she went on to work for a Telecoms Company. I thought she would fare better in a place with bigger egos than hers.  Apparently she worked in a department headed by a woman I know very well. Soon enough I heard she had been laid off that job as well.  It was interesting thus at a family gathering not long after that to hear her mother telling another aunty of ours about ‘women pulling other women down syndrome’ and saying that was why her daughter could not keep a job! I had to be physically restrained from telling her not to give a dog a bad name by maligning that syndrome. This same ‘women pulling other women down syndrome’ was what I heard when a lady at my Bank told a younger one that it was very unprofessional to come to the office scantily dressed and always hanging about the Manager’s office conveniently bending over to pick stuff up. The lady nearly wept when she read the text the younger lady had written about her to a colleague describing her as jealous and sad!

This is certainly not to say this syndrome does not exist or there are no true victims but like racism, sexism, homophobia there are a lot of syndromes that exist but there are many people who use them as excuses to justify their shortcomings. The opportunities for being centre of attention can be increased if feigning victimhood through alleged victimisation. This particular syndrome I write about because in feigning victimhood the person is the actual bully. The person who’s reputation is being maligned would now be looked on as frustrated, a bitch, envious and many more things which are now used to justify keeping women down whilst all she was doing was demanding for some professionalism or accountability or discipline.