Remi and Adetutu had been dating for 5 years before Shewa met Remi. In fact Shewa attended their Engagement and Wedding ceremonies with her friends and the smirk on her face during both ceremonies like the cat who got the milk was very fixed as it was from her bed Remi crawled out both mornings before the ceremonies. She was consoled by the fact that Remi told her that had he met her sooner, he would most definitely have left Adetutu for her, but as it is all the families are now involved it was difficult and he had even confided in her that Adetutu is pregnant but, he insists, it is she he loves. They continued their secret liaison well after the wedding, through Adetutu’s pregnancy and eventual birth of a bouncy baby boy Aderemi juniour and all the while Shewa was convinced, despite words to the contrary from her best friends who accompanied her to the ceremonies, Idunnu and Yeside, and her sister that it was she who was the object of Remi’s true affection. Why, if not was it only her food he ate whenever he returned from work, how come he spoke to her on the phone through the night every night, how come their sex was so intense from Remi’s longing whenever they met? if that was not the case she would ask.

black-1Indeed Adetutu knew there was someone else. There was always someone else. She doubts she has ever had the luxury of having Remi to herself since they started dating. Their first fight was about another woman and the ‘make or break fight’ which led to him proposing late last year was over another woman though not Shewa. Remi has managed to brainwash her they were all nothing to him. They were playthings.  Girls with no moral compass nor home training on how to be wife material like her. Girls who insist on going to clubs and were home wreckers not home makers like her. He could never agree to those women carrying his children. She should be happy and feel privileged that he was not asking her to abort the pregnancy as he would have in a shot if any of those other girls tried it!Besides which she was the only one he trusted to sleep with without a condom he fused.

At the two Ceremonies too was Tunde Ojewunmi. He was Adetutu’s classmate and he simply adores the groud upon which she treads. To him she is the most beautiful woman but he lacks the courage to tell her. What would she want with a nerdy geeky boy from the hinterland. So rather than let her know his feelings he just watched from afar as Remi got her. He would not use woo her because woo her he did not. More like she fished and fished until she hooked him. He saw how Remi would cruise out of campus with a different girl and how sad Adetutu his love looked so drab and miserable all the time. He was shocked of course when he heard they were getting married but here he was helpless and love lorn.

Actually Adetutu knew exactly how Tunde Ojewunmi felt about her. How could she miss a guy literally drooling when she walked into a room. How else would she have passed her compulsory Budget and Finance papers and then her Accounting Course without him. In fact but for him she would never have graduated. But what did he expect? Compared to Remi who Schooled in America, lived in one of his parent’s mansions on the Island and poised to take over the family Business, Tunde Ojewunmi, first to be educated in his family, was living in a boys quarters on Campus and was currently peddling his CVs around town. In fact she might have a word with Remi later to see if any member of his family have an opening for him she mused.

Also at the Ceremonies was Remi’s best man, Chuba Mordi. Chuba was still in America and had flown in 2 days before the Engagement Ceremony. He had not seen Remi in 2 years since he left the States for Nigeria. He just knew Remi was living the life in Lagos and could not wait to have some fun as well. Chuba was a meterosexual male and he as usual made sure he was on point for the wedding. Nails clean, hair cut, right diamond cut in his left lobe… he knew he looked good. The first person to catch his attention was Shewa. Beautiful, hair cut really short and styled really chic, curvy with amazing long legs. He even pointed her out to his sister Amoni as ‘the one’ since he noticed she didn’t have on a ring on her left hand and of course had no clue she was the groom’s love interest. So he flirted with her all day and night and even introduced her to his mother. Even when she commented that his mum did not seem to like the fact she was not Ibo he told her to behave herself that he was his own man and what he wanted was what mattered. Once Remi noticed them dancing together one time too many, he found a way of cautioning Shewa with a stern text and she found an excuse to quarrel with Chuba on the pretext of still stewing at his mother’s displeasure. Chuba could not understand the sudden change in her attitude and moved on but was pained as Shewa was his dream type. She was also bilingual. They seemed to have so much in common. Both vain and seemed to care only about each other.

MANY MANY YEARS ON:

Of course Remi never left Adetutu for Shewa. In fact she spent so long buying his hype she never got married. She spent so much time making a point to people who quite frankly did not matter that it was her stepping out with Adetutu’s husband forgetting so were other ladies and she just let her own possible achievements in that area of her life slide by. Remi was of course very possessive and took full advantage of the fact that Shewa would rather die than have the world laugh at her if he left her, hence he systematically alienated her from the al those around her who could speak sense to her about the situation.

Adetutu went on to have 3 children and is still very married to Remi. However now as she takes the catering order for another lavish party she ponders about her life. Her numerous battles with Remi and his mother on her choice to go into Business. Remi didn’t understand why she was not happy with the allowance he brought home from the quite frankly drying up family business. At least the children’s fees were paid and their Summer trips also taken care of by the Company. And he constantly accused her of infidelity with her prospective clients with large pockets. As for Remi’s mum she did not understand why she opened their family to the ridicule of having to go and beg for Business as though she was not being well taken care of. Adetutu stubbornly trudged on. She knew her taste for first class travel, designer bags, her mother’s treats and all the luxuries her and the children enjoyed of course could not be possible from the proceeds of this family business and the peace of mind which she got from her land in Lekki and the hectare of land on the stretch along the main Ota road which she had secretly acquired. Thank God for these too because following the death of Chief the following month and the brouhaha in the family over the assets and the different wives and children of Chief in legal and diabolical battles their quality of life suffered a rude shock.

Remi’s stroke did not help matters either. What struck Adetutu as amusing was that rather than the many women disappear they actually carried the battle to the Hospital. The stories made for headline reading in the rags and respectable press for months. Now she was popular for the wrong reasons. Another fact that troubled Adetutu were the aunties and uncles who constantly called and visited and Remi’s mother who told her to hold on and fight for her marriage. She wondered at which point she stopped doing that and if he ever did… but whereas he had all he wanted she had been miserable for the odd 17 years she said ‘I Do’. Of course she was overweight and bitter. Even she knew she was a bitch but where was she to find the joy to radiate to these women she dreamed of being like when she fought to get Remi to choose her. When she refused to walk away in the light of all she saw. Yes she went to Church. Even there she was just Praying for herself. She was not interested in the virtues of being a Christian. In fact she got no counsel as she said ‘Church goers are the greatest gossips’. She was not sharing her problems with anyone. No one was going to pray for sister Adetutu. She was too bitter. She is still very bitter.

IN ANOTHER VERSION:

Azubike is just rounding up the Press room and spots the headlines on that Week’s most popular rag, ‘Lagos big boy, Remi, Scion of the Arogundade set to wed Adetutu Kukoyi’…all roads lead to Ijebu come next week Sunday 29th Feb where the family are going to meet the Kukoyi family of…….’

black-couple-upset‘Shit’ Shewa swears!! ‘Shit Shit F— f—, the bl—-‘ She rolls on the expletives as she reads the news in one of the blogs. Remi just rolled out of her bed less than an hour ago. Her friend Idunnu’s  mother was at the Celestial Church last month when Remi’s aunty had brought Adetutu’s name for Prayers if she was ‘the one’ and the spirit had indeed revealed she would be an asset to the family. When Shewa asked Remi about this he gave her an earful and said things she couldn’t bear to repeat to Idunnu about her mother in his denial. Now here she was reading this. So despite herself, together with her sister, her best friends Idunnu and Yeside, come Sunday 29th Feb she set off also for the Kukoyi residence in Ijebu to see Remi ask Adetutu’s hand in marriage before her own eyes.

Chuba Mordi couldn’t take the heat. The stuffiness from the crowd in the Marque with the not very effective air conditioning systems was driving him crazy. He needed some air. as he stepped out he saw a group of women step out of a car. The first person to catch his attention was Shewa. Beautiful, hair cut really short and styled really chic, curvy with amazing long legs. He later pointed her out to his sister Amoni as ‘the one’ since he noticed she didn’t have on a ring on her left hand and of course had no clue she was the groom to be’s love interest. So he flirted with her all day and night and even introduced her to his mother.

Shewa couldn’t resist this vain, handsome and very cocky gentleman who approached her as she walked in and made her feel like the only woman in the room and even introduced her to his mother who did not seem to share his sentiment, as his future bride. She could not believe the effrontery with which Remi was warning her to behave despite the revelation he was a lying, cheating scoundrel! Chuba and Shewa got married the following year and live in New Jersey with their 2 sons. His mother is a constant irritant but their love has her under good control. Shewa cannot imagine what her life would have been had she continued to believe Remi’s lies….

Adetutu was in her grandmother’s bedroom. She slept very badly. She had prayed and prayed about this Marriage. Why would she not get any release in her spirit? She has been dating Remi for almost 5 years and even though she just lost the pregnancy she had planned to trap Remi with, he didn’t know that and here he was now with his family for the ‘Mo mi Mo e’ with their high society friends. She kept reading over and over again the note Tunde Ojewunmi sent to her through his Sister Aduniade. She begged her to please forgive her brother for writing to her at a time like this but he had made up his mind that after all the years he had secretly loved Adetutu, at least it will not be said he did not let her know albeit his timing being a bit off.

Actually Adetutu knew exactly how Tunde Ojewunmi felt about her. How could she miss a guy literally drooling when she walked into a room. How else would she have passed her compulsory Budget and Finance papers and then her Accounting Course without him. In fact but for him she would never have graduated. But what did he expect? Compared to Remi who Schooled in America, lived in one of his parent’s mansions on the Island and poised to take over the family Business, Tunde Ojewunmi, first to be educated in his family, was living in a boys quarters on Campus and was currently peddling his CVs around town. Was she crazy? Where would they live? What would life be like? As though Mama, oblivious in her dementia read her mind, she squeezed her hold on Adetutu’s hand and smiled. A long knowing smile. That was it! The sign she needed.

Tunji Ojewunmi was still listening to Aduniade’s gushings about the opulence she witnessed in Ijebu at the venue. The different Cars, the Security, the decor, the high echelon of Lagos Society, their latest attire when Adetutu walked in…….

Today Tunji Ojewunmi is the MD/CEO Oyetunji Ojewunmi Assurance with branches in every major City in Nigeria and Adetutu runs her catering business very successfully. When she was approached by the Arogundade family to cater for Chief’s burial ceremonies, Tunji was the only one who knew the great discount she gave after hearing that things were not that easy with the finances and with the wives and children warring. As she set about the very assorted menu she would spoil them with, she said another prayer for her now late grandmother who saved her with a smile. Adetutu’s Praise worship steps as she, Tunji and their children attend Church every Sunday are beautiful. Her favourite hymn being ‘Emi ko le se lai ma yin Oluwa o’ which translates as ‘I have to Praise God always’.

The moral of these stories is that we need to be careful of the decisions we make just based on what we can see in the short term. How our lives and the quality of our lives can differ based on decisions we make for reasons that really do not and should not matter. Namely our short term comfort, what people will say?, If society will make fun of us…. At the end of the day people will always have things to say. We need to love ourselves more. Especially us women. We need to demand more for ourselves and charge more respect in order to be treated better.