I don’t know Tiwa Savage personally and I would not really say I was a fan of hers for that matter. I get easily star struck much to the embarrassment of my children who have come to accept it can’t be helped.
I first saw Tiwa a few years ago as I was leaving an office at the Secretariat in Alausa, she walked in, I guess she’ll say unassuming with a few people with her. No smiles and no frills. To my surprise the staff at the office didn’t look impressed either and then the Secretary even asked her ‘Who should I say you are?’ to which I answered, I’m sure sounding very alarmed. ‘That’s Tiwa Savage! Don’t you all know her?’ With this I left and do not know how they got on after that.
After that I saw her when Dr Sid got married our Simi. At the Introduction Ceremony and as usual I asked for a selfie with her and she promptly obliged me.
I must say I had been hearing rumours of things not being right with her marriage for a while which I found very worrisome as it was still early days. Word was that there were constant accusations of infidelity on both sides and so I was very happy when she got pregnant and had her son. ‘Shame to bad people I thought’…
Then, I was at the Airport about to get on a flight but had to print some documents to send to my agent at a Business Centre when I heard about the Instagram rants by her husband discussed and then the dramatic Lekki bridge suicide attempt and convenient, timely arrival of Banky W and Peter P Square.
By the time I arrived in London and settled the next day my daughter, my sister our new baby and I watched as my Azuka (quite visibly uncomfortable and trying to be professional at the same time) interviewed the distraught heartbroken Tiwa Savage.
At the end of the Interview I became an unwavering Tiwa Savage fan and started my own #TeamTiwa kudos on Instagram and quite frankly I am rallying my own ‘Teehive’ to answer anyone who dares question Tiwa’s actions now.
Tiwa ticked the first right box by granting that Interview. Many people have said she had to do it because of the various brands she represents; she had to defend her image. Quite frankly I disagree. As with everything else, these Companies that have brand ambassadors do not hold them to the same obligations as is done even in their home Countries or abroad when it comes to Nigeria. So I don’t think Pampers, or Forte Oil or any of the others were about to fire Tiwa based on baseless rants by an obviously disturbed husband.
She ticked the right box by doing it for her fans!!! It was good she threw herself to the mercy and sympathy of her fans. It was good she came out to her fans especially the female ones who look up to Tiwa and are in abusive, bad relationships because they feel there is no other way out. It was good she came out and said ‘enough is enough’. People do not seem to realize the impact these stars and so-called OAPs have on the lives of Nigerians young and old. The Companies do though, hence, many who won’t even give money to any worthy cause have a brand ambassador.
If Tiwa Savage can say ‘Its over, I am no longer taking this mental abuse and bad treatment in my marriage, I am not afraid to be alone but be happy, I walk’ many many lives would be saved. People are used to women hiding their suffering because of what people would say. She herself admitted that but for the drama, she was still wondering what to do on their anniversary because of what people would say.
When I turned 50, I started this blog using my experience and different other people’s to try and send this message out to younger women that you cannot live your life based on what people would say. That you are important and so is your happiness. That living in bondage is not what Marriage is supposed to be. That to be alone and be at peace and be whole can save your life rather than being in hell and call it marriage. But, Alas, that one Interview by Tiwa I hope and pray has resonated that message to several thousands of women worldwide.
She could easily have been quiet and in a few weeks attend a function with her husband carrying their baby and that would be it. The drama gone except for some rants on Social Media but that would be it. That happens often but never ends the misery.
To Tiwa, take it from one who has been there. I am very sure you knew from the start there were ‘issues’ but you felt with you it’d be different. Its okay. You got your bundle of Joy and it was meant to be. I bet for little Jam Jam you will do it again.
What I would have advised if I knew you was to have left once you sacked him as your Manager because despite all the facts of stealing from you or cheating you out of your cut, he would have felt hard done by and if not before, definitely that was when ‘Operation hurt Tiwa’ started brewing strong in his mind. On a lighter note the amount of times you mentioned him having a hair cut twice a week I don’t know why you didn’t dump him at the barber’s ages ago because what manner of vanity is that?
Please perish the thought you owe him anything because your talent was God sent. He didn’t give you the voice or the talent. If it was not him someone else would have done the job and probably for cheaper too. Tiwa ticked the right box by responding as quickly as she did by giving a press interview. She needed to address the menace immediately. she needed to put things right. Her husband’s posts and the dramatic bridge experience was as though he just caught her red handed doing something bad and he couldn’t take it anymore. Meanwhile they were not and had not even been together for a while. He was just having a bad day. No one would have known he was at least N45Million naira in the hole and THAT was probably what ailed him or perhaps some unpalatable ‘inedible catering’. They say when a toxic person can no longer control you they will try and control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, and trust me i’ve been there too, very much so. However stay above it and know eventually people will know the truth but if you’re an icon like ‘Tiwa savage’ you need to address it because your silence to the common mind is an admission of guilt.
Some say why the scarf and the sober setting? I ask them, if she had a full brazilian and full BM Pro magic after such a terrible day would that be realistic? Only a heartless person would miss the poor girl’s swollen eyes from hours of shedding tears after such an unexpected assault on a day that was your wedding anniversary albeit of a dead Marriage. Even when you’re the one abused or hard done by, separation is still painful. It is still a form of loss of some sorts, hence she was in mourning mode and she needed her fans to know that.
Thank you for standing up for the women who have had enough. You are beautiful, you are a star and above all else you are a child of God and there is NO reason to take nonsense in the name of Marriage. Having said that the future will seem bleak despite that huge relief you fell when you break that chain of darkness and heart break but guess what? God Knows, Sees, Hears and Can Fix it.
Before I go, Tiwa also ticked a very important box by saying she is going to bring her son up right. To know from an early age how to treat women. It is amazing how many physically and emotionally battered bullied wives out there I see spoiling their sons! Rearing them to become the monsters they are living with. Lets raise our children boys and girls right but start preaching about the demon called ‘Underachieving’, which torments men to our boys and help them guard against it. I have!! I tell my boys every chance I get the need to earn the right to be called a ‘Man’ in its true form. This one disease is responsible for a myriad of problems in many young homes now. To be a ‘Man’ not a bully, not a beast, not a kept man, but a lover, a provider, a defender, a tower, a shield.